


PRIVATE!!! DO NOT READ

by valety



Series: original character, do not steal [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Humour, Other, Partial Second-Person POV, Silly, bad fanfiction, tiny smidgen of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 20:50:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5306303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valety/pseuds/valety
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chara finds Asriel's private notebook.</p>
            </blockquote>





	PRIVATE!!! DO NOT READ

**Author's Note:**

> because every fandom needs at least one fic like this (this is the worst thing I have ever written I hate it so much)
> 
> also, if you have any tips on improving readability, by all means share. the formatting was kind of tricky on this one
> 
> [Update: A Russian translation is now available!](https://ficbook.net/readfic/5021792)

The notebook is green, spiral bound, and has a ballpoint pen clipped to the metal ring. The pages are thick and pulpy, clearly waterlogged from someone having spilled something on it at some point. The words _**PRIVATE!!! DO NOT READ**_ have practically been etched into the cover by a desperate hand, each letter clearly having been traced over multiple times for emphasis.

Any decent person would have left it where they'd found it. You yourself had only stumbled across it because you'd been going through Asriel's dresser in the hopes of finding his secret candy stash - the one he liked to save "for emergencies", which was ridiculous, because what could possibly be a bigger emergency than you wanting candy and not having any. But you are hardly a decent person, and this is much, much more interesting than candy. 

The first page says: 

_I'M SERIOUS!!!! VERY PRIVATE!!!!!!! DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU ARE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
_

The words are framed by a series of elaborate doodles of starbursts and lightning. They actually look kind of neat.  


The next page says:  


_DO NOT GO ANY FURTHER, PLEASE!!!!!!!! I WILL BE VERY ANGRY >:(  
_

The next few pages are blank.  


Irritated, you begin to flip through the book with a greater intensity, practically tearing out the pages as you do. You wonder where all the so-called private stuff is supposed to be.  


Then you stop. After pages and pages of nothingness, there's suddenly a wall of frantic, messy scribbling that you instantly recognize as Asriel's handwriting. This, at least, seems promising. You begin to read.

_Once upon a time there was a very powerful monster and he was called the God of Hyperdeath.  
_

Holy shit.  


_He was very cool and tall. He was very strong also. He had very big horns (they were the BIGGEST!!!!) and he had more magic than anybody else had ever had ever.  
_

There's an illustration of this supposedly "very cool" monster on the opposite page. The figure depicted looks like Asriel, only older; taller, broad-shouldered, with long, curling horns, a sharp grin, and hands crackling with magic. It admittedly looks pretty cool and you nod in silent approval at Asriel's tastes.  


_They called him the God of Hyperdeath because he was a god and could extremely kill anything he wanted to, but he didn't ever want to because he was very nice and everybody liked him. Everybody wanted to be his friend. He had tons of friends because everybody liked him and they all wanted to hang out with him all the time because he was so cool. Because he was so nice he wanted to help everybody and because he was a god he was very good at doing that. He was the coolest!!! His job was to be a god and to be cool.  
_

You're gradually beginning to find that the word 'cool' is losing all meaning.  


_The God of Hyperdeath was always flying around in space and-  
_

Fuck fuck fuck don't laugh somebody'll hear you.  


_The God of Hyperdeath was always flying around in space and making a million stars with his magic because stars are really great and he wanted to make as many as he could. That way everybody could always see the stars. The stars were really great and so was the sky and space. There was no barrier and the monsters all lived on the surface with the humans and everybody was friends. They were all really happy!!!!  
_

You scoff at that. Yeah right.  


_One day the God of Hyperdeath was flying in space and he saw a ship going very fast and they didn't even stop to see the stars. He said "what is that" because that seemed strange. He had good ~~intoo~~ he could sense when something was wrong.  
_

_"Those are the bad guys" the other monsters said when he asked about the weird ship. "You must fight them using your hyperdeath magic because you are the strongest and best at fighting"  
_

_"I do not want to fight them because they can be my friends also maybe" said the God of Hyperdeath. Everyone was friends now and he did not like to fight unless he had to. "Even though they went very fast and did not look at all the cool stars I was making I am sure I can convince them to stop being bad and to start being good instead"  
_

_"They can't be your friends because they are bad. In fact they took a human and are going to hurt them just because they are bad. You must save the human from the bad people. Only you can defeat them!!!" the other monsters said.  
_

_"I will fight the bad guys to save the human then" said the God of Hyperdeath and he flew away into space to look for the bad guys.  
_

Uh.  


_The bad guys lived in the very highest part of space-  
_

Okay, that's it. Even you have limits. Good thing you still have crayons in your pockets from when you were colouring earlier.  


_The bad guys lived in the very highest part of space_ space is literally infinite it doesn't have a highest part _where they had their fortress. The fortress was extremely tall and it had a moat made of fire and lightning. Lightning came from the towers and they had guns that shot fire to defend it._ you mean flamethrowers? and where is the lightning coming from? does the tower generate electricity or is it just constantly getting hit by space lightning? do you even know what lightning is  


_The God of Hyperdeath could fly though and he was immune to fire and lightning because he had infinity HP. He saw the fortress and laughed "ura ha ha!" because it was so silly that they thought anything could hurt the God of Hyperdeath. He flew over the fire and the lightning.  
_

_The God of Hyperdeath used his magic to punch down the door and the bad guys all screamed. "Oh no!!!" they said. "It's the God of Hyperdeath!!!!! He really came what do we do now" and they all started to run and jump out the windows because none of them wanted to fight the greatest fighter there had ever been._ ASRIEL ARE YOU TELLING ME THEIR SPACE FORTRESS HAD GLASS WINDOWS??? THERE IS NO AIR IN SPACE THEY SHOULD ALL BE DEAD ALREADY  


_"Where is the human" said the God of Hyperdeath. "I am here to save them from you, you are evil"  
_

_But then the King Ultimate of the bad guys came and laughed and said "Foolish god this was my plan all along!! You are so nice that you are weak._ this is true _You walked right into our trap to save the human and because of that you will die. Now we will fight and I will win. I will take your hyperdeath powers and I will become the new God of Hyperdeath"  
_

_"Ura ha ha I would like to see you try!!!" said the God of Hyperdeath and they began to fight. The King Ultimate had a magic knife that could grow as big as he wanted_ where can I get a knife like this _and he swung it around like a cool sword. It went SWISH SWISH SWISH_ nice sound effects _when he swung it.  
_

_The God of Hyperdeath was ready though. Using his star magic he summoned CHAOS SABER!!!!!!_ nice name _His swords were much better than King Ultimate even though the magic knife was awesome. CHAOS SABER cannot be defeated though, it is the most powerful sword there is. I_ could defeat it  


_They had a fight but the God of Hyperdeath's CHAOS SABER attack was too much for King Ultimate and he knocked the knife from his hand. Then King Ultimate lost all his magic. "Noooooooo" he said. "I needed that knife to be magic" and he turned to dust and blew away._ humans don't become dust _The King Ultimate was hyperkilled._ what exactly does that mean? 

_The God of Hyperdeath was very sad because he did not like to hyperkill anyone but if there was a bad guy he had no choice. Sometimes you do not have a choice and he would always do what he had to do if he wanted to help somebody._  


The nearly-constant smile you've been wearing the entire time you've been reading this wavers ever so slightly.  


You ignore it and keep reading. 

_Then everyone in the fortress started cheering and the fire and lightning stopped and instead everything became very shiny and sparkles rained down instead of fire. "Hooray!!!!" said the people. "Now we are free from the control magic of King Ultimate. Thank you, God of Hyperdeath, you are the best in the universe" but the God of Hyperdeath didn't need to stay and hear this because it was very true and he already knew it. What he needed to do was to find the human because he was there to save the human.  
_

_And there was the human!!!!! Secretly and surprisingly it was the God of Hyperdeath's very best human friend._ =) _He did not know that the human who had been captured was his best friend but now he was happy now because they were his favourite_ =) =) =) _and he would always help them. He liked helping them._  


_"I escaped while you were fighting the King Ultimate because I'm very smart" said the human. "Thank you for coming to save me though even though I didn't need it God of Hyperdeath"_  


_"I will save anyone" said the God of Hyperdeath. ~~"But I will especially save you because~~_ because what?  


_"You are so cool," said the human. "You are literally the coolest. You are the coolest I have ever seen. You are so cool that I will ~~kiss~~ hold your hand now and we can ~~get married~~ hang out for a bit if you want"_  


You're starting to feel a tiny bit flushed. Not because you're nervous, though. That would be silly. Because the room is stuffy, and you're wearing a sweater. That's all. Yeah, that's it.

_"Yes we will do that!!!!" said the God of Hyperdeath. "I love to have friends" and secretly the human was the God of Hyperdeath's favourite of all his friends because he could tell that the human was also very good_ they're not _and had a lot of magic inside_??? _and together the two of them could be the very strongest ever. As long as they were always together.  
_

_"Look" said the human and they pointed at the magic knife. "It's the King Ultimate's magic knife. I can take it and I will get his magic and I will be the new Ultimate. I will be different though because I am not bad like he was. I am very good and I know this because the God of Hyperdeath is my friend if you like me so much I must be good"_  


_"Yes that is true" said the God of Hyperdeath. "That is the right thing to believe. You will take the magic knife and become very strong and I will be strong too and together we will keep on saving everybody and making lots of friends and we will never leave each other ever"_  


You're starting to really like Asriel's imagination, if this is the kind of thing he fantasizes about. Your mouth is once again curling into a smile despite itself.  


_The human picked up the magic knife. There was a lot of light. It went BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAH and then they had magic.  
_

_"Amazing" they said. "Now I have the magic knife and I am the Ultimate Human. But the magic was so much for me and I am not used to it so I might faint" and they fainted. They opened their eyes. "Oh now I can't walk because I am so tired from magic"_ are you serious  


_"Do not worry I am very strong" said the God of Hyperdeath and they picked up the human like they weighed nothing because he was so strong. "Wow you are strong" said the human ~~and they were blushing because~~ _ FINISH YOUR SENTENCES  


_Anyway the God of Hyperdeath carried the human away into space and they were friends forever and everyone loved them for being such good heroes.  
_

_THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_  


_*the God of Hyperdeath is MY original character so please do not steal!! also he is original, NOT an actual monster. this is a work of FICTION so ALL of the characters are fake. if you are reading this and you think that anybody in this story might be real you are wrong!!!!!_  


_**if you are reading this please don't tell Chara_  


The final page is another illustration, this time of the God of Hyperdeath carrying the human. The human has a scratching of red-brown hair, bright pink circles for cheeks, and what appears to be a green-and-yellow sweater. It looks as though a heart was drawn beside them, but it's hard to make out, what with how desperately it was scribbled out.  


You are silent for a long, long time, staring at the crude drawing before you. Then you take up your red crayon and carefully write  I like your story at the very bottom of the page.  


You shut the notebook and place it back under the mound of sweaters you'd initially found it in. You'd been planning on making fun of Asriel with it, but, well. No harm in letting that part wait a little bit.  


It's almost time for dinner, you realize, and so you decide to forget about Asriel's candy stash for now. You stand up and leave the room, letting _The Adventures of the God of Hyperdeath_ remain something like a secret for a little while longer.


End file.
